女人的幸福

出差到悉尼一週。回程的航班上，看了電影<北京遇上西雅圖>。機倉內黑漆一片，我一個人抱著枕頭，看著電影，哭得一遢糊塗。

湯唯飾演的佳佳說，錢有甚麼用，那是沒有心的。她一直盼望孩子的爸會來西雅圖看她，但日子一天一天過去，她甚麼都沒有，只有花不完的錢，和很多很多的包。後來她離開了那個信用卡有無限額度的男人，回到了另一個買不起包，卻把她放到心底裡疼的男人身邊。老掉牙的故事，我卻看得感動不已。

女人是不是一定要有男人疼才幸福？是不是一定要有愛情，生命才完滿？你可以說我沒出息，但這一刻在三萬呎高空的我，真的覺得，薪水再高，物質再豐盛，也比不上，有那麼一個人在家裡等你，讓你期盼，也值得你期盼。

我真的沒甚麼大志。讓我做一個小女人，有疼我的老公，幸福的家庭，我就很滿足了。

三十三

還有一天，便是我的三十三歲生日。

感覺，像是越過了一條分水嶺，踏入了mid thirties的階段。

如果說，三十三歲的我，還對自己有些甚麼期許的話，那就是，希望我能更自信。

或許應該說，希望我能更自在。也就是法文裡的bien dans sa peau - feel comfortable in your own skin, 不卑不亢。

當然，我有自信爆棚的時候，面對老闆時，開會present時，在家人面前認叻時。但更多時候，其實我更缺乏安全感。活了三十三載，其實早就看清了自己的長短處，想改也改不了…但我總太在意別人的看法，特別在一對多的社交場合裡，面對見識比我廣經驗比我多的人，我總會很介壞自己的不足，以致不能好好的舒坦的做自己；別人在高談闊論，我卻只能奄鶉般坐在一角默不作聲。我恨死了這樣的自己。

能夠真正做到bien dans sa peau, 大概是目前最大的心願。

Lucky ducky

I did it again. I was ungrateful and whiny and cranky the past few days (it was not pretty), forgetting completely the fact that I am one lucky ducky.

I am lucky to have a healthy, able body. A bit fat, and short, but still functioning well.

I am lucky to have a job that pays well, so that I can afford many nice things that I want.

I have the best husband, who makes dinner and washes dishes and never hesitates to tell me that he loves me.

I have the best family, who chats and jokes with me on whatsapp and sometimes runs errands for me and most of all just wants me to be happy.

I have friends at home that still care about me. I can use some more close friends here in Singapore, but finding company for a girls' night out, a brunch, or a dinner / drinks is never a problem.

Seriously, what more can I ask for?

[Random] 公園

1. 我很喜歡公園。

2. 每來到一個城市，我都要到那兒的公園走一走，看一看。雖然公園一般離不開春田花花大片草地加噴水池的組合，但每次走進公園，看見那一片綠意鴦然，心胸總會變得舒坦，人也快樂一點。

3. 而且，公園不像其他旅遊景點，是真實的，是人們生活的一部份。跑步的，帶小孩寵物散步的，睡午覺的，看書的… 我喜歡這樣坐在公園的一角，靜靜地看各式各樣的人，過自己的生活。

4. 每一個好的城市，都應該有一個好的公園，寬廣，綠化，就在市中心，誰都可以進去。曼克頓的中央公園是最好的例子。倫敦的海德公園和巴黎的盧森堡公園也不錯。最近去了塞維爾(Seville) 的公園，大大的噴泉在宏偉的西班牙廣場上，舉目是樹林和草地，真正讓我留連忘返。

5. 香港也有維園，但不夠大，綠化也做得不夠好，比較像一個運動場。如果維園能像大埔海濱公園那樣就好了，這樣，也許香港人的心胸可以寬大一點，人也可以開心一點。

[Random] 從手袋想到的

1. 想買一個手袋。上班時用，幹練又不失典雅，低調而有品味，有什麼選擇？其實也不是負擔不起愛瑪士，但心裡總暗暗覺得，我這妹妹頭，恐怕還駕馭不了Birkin，不如不用。

2. 四十歲吧，希望我四十歲的時候，能有一個Birkin。如果我還在上班的話。

3. 四十歲聽起來很可怕。但想當年二十出頭的時候，也曾覺得三十歲是遙不可及的事。

4. 不知什麼時候開始，我已不再自動是辦公室裡最年輕的一個。雖然外表還是妹妹頭，但談經驗，談歷練，談心態，實在不可算年輕了。

5. 如果主流手袋品牌也能用來形容一個女人的成長，大概會是這樣吧： 大學時用Agnes b, 剛出道愛Coach或Burberry Blue Label, 漸漸心儀Gucci, 再升呢到Prada, 然後是Chanel, Hermes…

6. 這麼一寫，忽然覺得女人好膚淺啊。

There are no clean slates

四個月彈指過去了，這是怎麼一回事。

四月其實有許多大事發生：上了車買了樓從此負上幾百萬巨債。參加了三十天熱瑜珈挑戰。因為天天做熱瑜珈很容易肚餓竟然越來越肥。又，拿到了一個job offer。為是否跳糟一事猶疑不已。

面對這許許多多的事，不禁又要問自己，其實我追求的是什麼？隨着每一天的結束，我是否有朝夢想的人生前進一點？

有時候，我真想回到過去，重新開始。

但現實是，人生沒有重新開始。過去的種種決定和選擇，對的也好錯的也罷，都成就了今天的我們。時光不會回頭，我們不能回到最初的起點，只能一直背着過去的包袱，除除找路。但誰說下一個路口，不會是柳暗花明，一片全新景象呢？背着包袱，也可以有新開始，我相信。

There are no clean slates, but you don't need one to start fresh.

每一步，都可以是新開始。

It can only get better

Believe it or not, March will be over in 2 more days. (Seriously, where did all the time go?) For the last two months in a row, I have written and posted on the last day of the month, ranting about how lost and unmotivated I was, and wishing and hoping that the start of a new month will bring some positive changes.

So now that March is almost over, has it gotten any better? In some ways, yes. The flu is finally gone (thank goodness), and we have confirmed our honeymoon trip with a line up of very nice hotels in Andalusia. I've even splurged on an Alice + Olivia floral dress and a pair of dreamy louboutin espadrilles to add to my honeymoon wardrobe! And to embark on the journey to become a  true taitai, I have also made dinner a few times, much to SB's delight. *pat on back*

But then, as always, some things are not as good. And I have come to realize that I am the root of all the problems: Too many weak moments where I let procrastination and complacency get the better of me. Too many empty promises that I have failed to keep. Too many days and nights that I have wasted by doing nothing. And... I am the only one who can change this.

So now, if you will bear with me, here are the things that I swear I will be better at starting in April:

1. Getting back in shape: I have done it and I know I can do it. All it takes is willpower and discipline!
2. Managing my finances: SB and I are planning on buying our first home soon but this has made us realize how lacking we are in terms of finances. That means I really have to cut down my occasional splurges and use money more wisely.
3. Cooking at home: SB seems to be quite happy with my cooking so far. I look forward to trying some new recipes in the new month!
4. Being professional at work: as mentioned in my last posts, work has been dragging me down lately. I'm crossing my fingers that April will bring some good news, so let's see... but I hate being and feeling mediocre, and something has to be done regardless.

So here is my list of April resolutions, if you will. I will report back in a month to let you know how it goes.

西班牙像一本書(上)

我被西班牙的歷史迷住了。

事情是這樣的：去年八月結婚後，我們一直沒有騰出時間去渡蜜月。蜜月的地點倒是想了很多：希臘、Seychelles、大溪地、突尼西亞、土耳其…幾乎所有地方都考慮過。然後有一天，一個念頭忽然在我腦海裡植根，揮之不去。於是我跟老公說：不如我們去西班牙南部吧。

現在想來，會忽然想到西班牙，許是一種奇異的緣份。當初的想法，是嚮往西班牙感覺慵懶－每天睡到自然醒，在山城中隨意漫步，吃吃喝喝，累了回酒店睡午覺，正合我們心意。加上，西班牙南部安達路西亞（Andalusia）是一個有風景、有故事的地方。坦白說，要去靚resort對著靚海景發呆，我們從新加坡坐兩小時飛機已有不少選擇，但安達路西亞，安達路西亞有翠綠的山巒，有蔚藍的海岸，還有亞拉伯統治數百年後留下的一千零一夜般的異國色彩...

就這樣決定了。

這次回娘家，無意中找到了這本《西班牙像一本書》。書是我六七年前買下的，卻一直無緣讀畢，這次時機對了，翻開第一頁，便無法放下。

同一作者寫的《帶一本書去巴黎》，早已是我最愛的書之一。這書風格一致，以半遊記的寫法，與歷史故事交織，帶出各種關乎人性，文明，宗教的反思。

我和作者一樣，其實是去過西班牙的。我們都去過巴塞隆那，膜拜過高弟鬼斧神工的建築，但「卻本能地覺得，我們只是到了巴塞羅那，我們還沒有到過西班牙。我們沒有看到堂吉訶德的拉曼卻荒原，也沒有聽到西班牙內戰槍炮留在山谷裡的回聲。從此，留下一個夢，哪一天我們還要回去，走進西班牙。」

看畢全書，只感覺自己孤陋寡聞，從來不知道西班牙原來有著如此曲折、滄桑而動人的故事。而故事，正是由我們要去的安達路西亞開始。（待續）

Mojo where are you?

So it's been a month since my last post, but things are, unfortunately, not much better. The uber annoying flu is still lingering (it's been what, almost two months?), I'm not feeling any more motivated at work, and I just recently found out that I couldn't fit into my skinny jeans anymore. I've hit an all time low.

Let's hope that March will be a less disappointing month, and that my next post will be more uplifting.

Mojo, I need you back.

A (not so) happy new year

Unfortunately my 2013 was not off to a very good start.

First of all, I got sick, twice. Ironically, I was perfectly fine in subzero Canada during Christmas, but somehow managed to get a "cold" in 30-degree Singapore. And then I passed the germs to my husband who then passed them back to me and in the process the germs got 10 times stronger (what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, indeed). So here I am, 20 days after I had my first sneeze, still having sniffles and coughs and all those nasty things.

And work has just been too much of a yoyo lately. Some days I feel like I'm in my top form and am ready to take on the world, but some days I just have no idea what the hell I'm doing at all. There are many aspects of my current job that I know are out of my elements, but more importantly it's because other people's comments just have too much of an effect on me. Which they shouldn't, because I'm supposed to be mature and confident and know what I'm doing. But all I know is, I take everything way too personally and my stress level is off the roof.

And because of both my less-than-ideal health and work situation, I have been in a crappy mood most of the time. And because I have been in a crappy mood, I haven't been exercising like I should. Hence I feel fat, and I feel guilty, and I don't like myself. Now I suppose that doesn't help with my health and work... talk about a downward spiral.

So what can I look forward to? I don't know. Maybe something as small as the start of a new month? As people love to say, "tomorrow is another day".

Please someone come and give me a swift kick in my butt.

Or bring me a good tarte au citron.

Feeling grounded

Some of you may remember that I had a Yoga teacher (Master Kapil) before who watched and guided my practice. Master Kapil has taught me many things - some of them were (sadly but not surprisingly) forgotten, but some, I'm happy to say, have stayed with me since.

For example, the importance of feeling grounded.

Mountain pose (Tadasana) is probably the most basic of all Yoga poses: it is simply "standing there". It is simple, but also profound. In the Mountain pose, you should stand still, balanced, straight and strong (hence the name Mountain). Your body should be rooted to the ground, weight evenly distributed on both feet, supporting the upper body to lengthen, to grow tall. This feeling of lengthening can only occur when you feel grounded, as it makes you feel safe and strong and gives you energy and support. It is only when you feel grounded that you can reach high, said Master Kapil.

And grounded is how I feel since I moved to Singapore a month ago. After nomading from city to city and moving from one apartment to another for the past five years, I finally feel that I'm "home". Now this is for my brother (who likes to tease me for having converted into a Singaporean): home is not Singapore per se. Home is precisely the feeling of groundedness. Finally when I see SB I don't need to count down the number of days 'til I have to get on the plane again. (On the contrary, I see him EVERY DAY now! :O Now THAT takes some getting used to.) It feels so good to have someone to coming to, after s good or bad day.

And I'm happy. Like Master Kapil said, when you feel grounded, you feel like you can do anything and achieve any goal. I'm so grateful that now, after a good or bad day, I have a place to come home to, with arms that always welcome me with a nice po po. I feel grounded. I feel strong.

Memory Fragments

A common mistake in my eyes that many brides make is that they get too obsessed about how pictures of the big day will turn out, so much so that they care more about taking pictures than just being there and enjoying the moment.

Don't get me wrong, I was guilty of it too. Honestly, if one were to look at my thoughts bubbles on the day(s), one would find mostly meaningless, self-obsessed jabbers like: "Is my hair still looking good? Gosh it's so hot my makeup must be melting. I wonder if that will show in the pictures?" "Where is the make up lady? My make up is melting!!!!" "This is awesome. Where is the photographer? Why is he not here to take picture of this moment?"... Well, you get the idea.

But a wedding is so much more than just pictures. Pictures, however epic or delicate they are, can capture but a small part of the overwhelming love and happiness one feels that day. That's why I thought I would write down some of the mental images that I want to take with me, to keep my heart warm when I'm feeling a little down or depleted or not grounded: (Warning: it's a really long list, so read on with caution...)

- trying to decide which McDonald breakfast to have in the morning and which one to save for Josephine (my best friend and matron-of-honor). I took the yummier-looking one, I think. Sorry Jo.
- the feeling of excitement and surrealism the whole time when I was getting my hair and makeup done
- turning back so that Josephine could take a snap of me before I was about to head out to the bridal suite

- briefing my nephews about the rules of the "door game": "You two are police, ok? You need to guard this door and not let Jon in until he says the magic word."
- hearing a huge burst of laughter when I was hiding behind the door and wondering what was happening outside (later I learned - of course - that it was because Austin just said the magic word out loud when he was asked! Not quite police material, I'm afraid.)
- the look on SB's face when he opened the door and saw me in my wedding dress for the first time
- the tears in Mum's eyes when I served her tea during the tea ceremony
- feeling like a celebrity as passers-by shoot me looks of admiration (I think :p) as we were taking pictures at the Novotel Arch
- getting off our Limo outside the Music Garden, seeing the splendid weather and feeling all thankful about it
- the kids, who were supposed to lead the way and walk down the non-existent aisle, wandered totally off-route and started to run to their mom. It was hilarious.

- holding Dad's arm and walking down the aisle. Everyone was looking at me. Everyone was smiling and they all looked so happy.

- looking into SB's eyes when he said his vows. He promised to talk to strangers for me and always tum-tum me! :D

- the delight of having a sip of lemonade in the unbelievable heat, but then had to remind myself not to go crazy - there was no way I could go to the toilet in that dress
- the cupcake tower was really, really pretty

- rain started to pour soon after we all sat down for dinner. We were so lucky with the weather!
- all the compliments I received about my awesome 5-inch Jimmy Choos. Well, my feet have never felt so painful before in my whole life, but it's a small price to pay for such fabulous shoes
- the whole house burst into laughter when they saw the slide that showed SB liked collecting point cards and I liked collecting shoes
- seeing how proud my dad was when he took me around to talk to all our relatives during dinner
- our first dance to "The Way You Look Tonight" - a song that I have secretly wanted for a very, very long time to be our first dance song. Thanks for making that happen, SB.

- our last dance to "We Are Young" at 2am - it might just be my favorite moment of the night. All of his best friends were there and we were all dancing and singing and having fun and acting silly (Group hugs!). It was that exact moment that I thought, they had become my friends too! It felt like we had been through something major together. I was really, really touched, and was really happy for SB for having such great friends.
- back to Hong Kong, I was going crazy writing greeting cards and envelops for every guests, sometimes until 1am (We had little cards for every guest to tell them which table they were seated at, and on the cards were personalized messages for them. Cute idea, but a total nightmare in execution, I must say)

- the photographer commenting that my veil was "so nice and soft" and "not just a regular veil" (I was glad that someone noticed!)
- seeing that all my girlfriends made it on time to the nail spa, all happy and giddy with their manicure, champagne and truffle; the manicure party was a big success!
- thinking that "wow this place is really massive" as we entered our Suite at Four Seasons. Only later did we learn that it's not a regular Executive Suite - we got upgraded to a Deluxe Suite that day which apparently costs HKD28,000++ a night! Both SB and I are positive that it will be the most luxurious hotel room we will ever stay in in our life. When we invited my brother and his kids to come over the next morning, the kids kept repeating "This is too big! Everything is too big!"
- getting my makeup done in the bridal powder room in the restaurant and watching in the mirror how my girlfriends were running around to help with the wedding. I felt so loved. Thank you, friends.
- tonnes of old memories flashed back as my best friends Ching Man and Siu Yan spoke on the stage. I have always been a fortunate girl - lucky to have many true friends who have shared different stages of my life and have stayed true throughout all these years. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.
- seeing SB's parents' smiles of approval when I thanked them for raising a son with great values
- a few people came up to me that night to thank me for making the donation on their behalf. Some also asked for more details on Xiao Bian Dan to see how they could help some more. 
- I was knocked down by my aunt when she came over to give me a big hug at the end of the night! (Not entirely her fault - my feet were wobbly from standing too long in those Jimmy Choos!)
- changed into bathrobes and slippers (THANK GOODNESS!) and wolfed down the leftovers from the banquet in our monster suite after the night was over. WE DID IT!

How I wish I could seal all these memories in a tin so that I could take them out and relive the days whenever we want to. I hope I will never, ever forget that I was once so happy and so loved (and so pretty and so slim), and always be thankful for that.

I really am the luckiest girl in the whole wide world.

Merrily Married!

It's done! And it was everything that I had ever dreamed of.

Thank you hubby, family, and friends, for making me feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the whole wide world.

Getting married - What does that really mean?

On this day last year, SB proposed.

It's been a year since we got engaged. I will be honest and tell you that it was not all smooth sailing and there have definitely been ups and downs in the past 12 months. Of course, it was 99% happy and good, but there were also a few not-so-good moments that could not be overlooked. Long distance relationships are hard, and after more than two years of trying to make it work, I have a feeling that we've probably reached the limit. So - that's it - no more long distance after getting married. We'll stick together, in the same city, in good times and bad times.

I've also thought long and hard about the meaning of marriage. When I said in my last post that I worried a lot, it's not the wedding that I was worried about. (C'mon, I'm more mature than that I'd like to think!) Sometimes hollywood chick flicks and glossy bridal magazines lead us to think that wedding is the perfect ending and the only thing that matters, but as many will also agree with me, wedding is only the beginning: the beginning of a new family, a new chapter of life.

So at times, I find myself wondering about marriage and what it means, about the future and what that holds. Don't get me wrong, I love the man that I'm about to marry, there is no doubt about it. I know I want to share every day of the rest of my life with this person; I know I want to have a family and have kids with him; I know I want to be there for him no matter what the world has come to.

But the problem is, just like this year since we got engaged, it is not going to be all smooth sailing. There're gonna be bumps along the way. We will have fights. We will have bad times. I already know it and it makes me scared. I don't handle uncertainties very well, and that's probably one of my biggest shortcomings. Yes, we are in love with each other now, but what does how we feel at this moment even mean in the longer horizon of time? Will we feel this way 10, 20, 30 years later? Are we still going to be happy? Will we still love each other as much as we do now? And if not what's going to happen - Do you quit? Do you stay? Some people may disagree but I believe that once you're married, quitting isn't that simple anymore.

And then I thought better of it. Perhaps this is precisely what getting married is all about: that you're willing to commit to it and make it work, knowing already that it won't be all rosy and perfect. It's not an impulse decision. It's not about having the opportunity to have the dream wedding come true. And it's certainly not about having a legitimate reason to become a tai tai (heehee, although that is kinda sorta important too...) It's about taking the chance and being in it for the long haul.

And there, I know this much is true: I am willing to take this chance, and I am in it for the long haul. So yes, I'm certain that I want to marry you, my SB(J).

Happy engagement anniversary.

Everything is fine

Last month I ordered a bridal headpiece from a lovely shop on etsy.com. It was a gorgeous headpiece - I loved it so much that I was willing to pay a hefty price for it (well, hefty for what it is). I paid with my PayPal, expecting the package to be delivered to my doorstep a week later.

Only it wasn't.

I waited, and waited. Weeks have passed, I checked the status on the US Post Office daily and it kept displaying the same message: "Package is in transit."

I was getting antsy.

I wrote to the shop, and while the shopowner was as nice and polite as she could be, she just told me to be patient and wait a bit longer.

Then I started to get really antsy. It's already been 4 weeks. Usually overseas parcels only take a week to get to HK! (Think ASOS.) Did the parcel get lost? Will the shop agree to send me a replacement? Will I be able to get my money back if they refuse? I was worried sick.

And then today, I went to the US Post Office website to check the status again. Ta-da!!! The parcel is in Hong Kong! It's here! It's fine!

As the wedding day approaches, I find myself worrying a lot... it's not good. I wish I knew how to stop it (maybe yoga will help?)... because most of the time, just like this small incident, I just stress myself out and kill zillions of brain cells by worrying for nothing.

*Take a deep breath*

*Repeat after me*

Everything will be fine.

不再核心的核心價值

香港的核心價值是什麼？以我作為香港人的認知，認為是：廉潔，自由，效率。香港這麼多年的繁榮發展，靠的不就是這三個因素嗎？

我自小在香港長大，一直為這片土地驕傲。唸MBA的時候，別人問我從那兒來，我總是回答，我是香港來的。對方總會「哦」一聲，然後跟我說香港的繁華香港的活力，有多impressive。

只是，這些年來，想到香港，想到香港的種種改變，心裡不是沒有保留的。直到我來到上海工作，我才明白，問題出在那裡。

香港的核心價值，和阿爺所期望所欣賞的價值，根本不是同一件事。廉潔，自由，效率？在這裡都不值一哂。來到內地工作後，我發現，用我既往一貫的方法工作，會被認為是蠢，是不識時務。在這裡，生存，發達，都有自己的一套方式。老闆，或稱領導，在這裡，代表了至高無上的權力：一切東西的執行，就是要靠一層一層的領導，以自己身為老闆的權力，傳達執行下去。這裡不講究創新不講究主動（主動討好老闆除外），不提倡個人主義也不鼓勵個人色彩，甚至不在乎做的是不是正確的事。最重要的，是領導的話，領導的意向，領導的評價。誰管你什麼廉潔，自由，效率。

這就是為什麼香港變了。阿爺當前利益當前生存當前，你變，還是不變？香港人自以為的核心價值，已經再沒有人擁抱。像是小公司被大財團收購，小公司的文化，慢慢會被大財團所蠶食所同化。你眷戀小公司以往的開明自由，卻也要明白，大環境就是變了。往日的老闆想要的，和今日的老闆想要的，已是截然不同的東西和價值。硬想又要在老闆面前做得好又要忠於自己的核心價值，只會落得精神分裂。在這裡，你要麼conform，要麼jump ship。

打工可以跳槽，但香港是咱們家，我們要跳到那裡去？難道真的要移民瓦努阿圖？

Holding on

I was taking a walk in the park downstairs just now, listening to my new iPod (which Apple generously gave to me for free to replace my first generation one which apparently had battery overheating problems... btw, does anybody still use iPod nowadays?) Now, this is rather embarrassing to admit, but I hardly have any new music. My newest song on iTunes is probably Love the Way You Lie. I'm not sure. Anyway, my playlist is shamefully old.

So I was walking in the park, watching people jog and walk their dogs and push around baby strollers, my iPod on shuffle mode. And then all of a sudden, this song came to my ears.

Waking up I see that everything is okay
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

-- Innocence (by Avril Lavigne)

Sometimes I forget how loved and blessed I am, and fall into the trap of self-pity with obsessive, negative self talk - let's just say it's a not so pretty version of me. But at times like this, something so stripped down is all I need - someone to yell at me, to remind me how blessed I am, to tell me to shut up and just be thankful and hold on to it.

And this song did just that.

Now it's about time to make some dinner. After dinner I may go download some new music, or I may do some work, or I may just read some magazines while bundled up nicely in the bed.

Life is still good. Don't you let it pass you by.

關於婚禮

關於婚禮，我一直有幾個微小願望：

- 在草地上舉行
- 有大提琴伴奏
- 唸自己寫的誓詞
- 儀式裡有一小段reading

婚禮會在多倫多音樂花園舉行。這個花園是馬友友與建築師合作設計的，共分六個部份，靈感分別來自巴哈的Cello Solo Suites No.1的六個樂章，整個花園猶如一首歌。能夠在這花園裡行禮，襯上大提琴的吟哦，在一片綠意盎然中接受至親好友的祝福，這是我能想像到最完美脫俗的畫面了。

至於自己寫vows，是因為想說和想聽彼此內心的說話，也是考慮到語言問題，可能會英語及廣東話雙語進行（因為我希望我的父母也能聽懂我們的誓詞）。其實還未正式和SB商量，但估計問題不大，除了中文的部分，他極可能只會說一句Wo Ai Ni?!

而關於最後一點，Reading這個重任，將會落在六歲的姪兒Justin身上。選了以下Winnie the Pooh的小詩節錄，既符合小朋友的天真，亦能帶出兩個人一起的意義，我很喜歡。

Us Two　(Excerpt)
by A. A. Milne

Wherever I am, there's always Pooh,
There's always Pooh and Me.
Whatever I do, he wants to do,
"Where are you going today?" says Pooh:
"Well, that's very odd 'cos I was too.
Let's go together," says Pooh, says he.
"Let's go together," says Pooh.

"Let's look for dragons," I said to Pooh.
"Yes, let's," said Pooh to Me.
We crossed the river and found a few -

"Let's frighten the dragons," I said to Pooh.
"That's right," said Pooh to Me.
"I'm not afraid," I said to Pooh,
And I held his paw and I shouted "Shoo!
Silly old dragons!" - and off they flew.
"I wasn't afraid," said Pooh, said he,
"I'm never afraid with you."

So wherever I am, there's always Pooh,
There's always Pooh and Me.
"What would I do?" I said to Pooh,
"If it wasn't for you," and Pooh said:
"True, It isn't much fun for One, but Two,
Can stick together, says Pooh, says he.
"That's how it is," says Pooh.


期待那一天，披上白紗，戴上指環，跟你說I do。

The Perfect Sunday Brunch Dress

Since I started reading style magazines as a teenager, I've always had a secret aspiration that is rather embarrassing to admit: to look like I walk out of a magazine all the time. Shows like "The Devil Wears Prada" and "Gossip Girl" give me adrenaline rush because of their wardrobes. I want to look like those girls every day!

But who am I kidding? It takes far too much energy (and money?) to look flawless every single day. Sure, I have my own style, and try to look good most of the time, but I also have more than my fair share of bad hair days, wear-my-yoga-pants-everywhere days, and whatever-just-please-don't-let-me-run-into-my-ex days.

Anyways, I digress. What I wanted to talk about today is, this. dress.


I gasped when I saw it on the Lane Crawford website, and then gasped again when I saw it on the rack in store. It's SO PRETTY! It's got a "Blair Waldolf" feel to it, but just imagine how perfect it would be for a Sunday brunch with girlfriends en printemps! I love the color, the print, and the sophisticated feeling that it brings.

So you think for sure I'd have bought it on the spot - but no. As much as I wanted the dress, I didn't buy it. It wasn't crazy expensive - I have many items that cost more than it does - but then in a split second I thought (with a sigh), I didn't really need it. So I walked away.

I guess this is what they mean by growing up.

Be Professional. Be Happy. Be Kind. (And Look Good!)

This was a snapshot of what my desktop looked like a few years ago, when I was still at INSEAD (I took it to use in a self-introduction presentation at a job interview). I really loved this image. They're probably too small to be seen clearly here, but next to the silhouette, there were three lines of small text that said: Be Professional. Be Happy. Be Kind.

Long have these words been my mottos to live by. Of course there have been numerous occasions where they were forgotten, and I acted less than professionally at work, or let myself be overcome by self-pity, or had mean thoughts about other people. (Wait, I think I did all of those just yesterday!) Nevertheless, these, I'd like to think, still define who I want to be (which, I'm aware, is quite far from who I am today, but you know how writing things down make them more real? So here you go):

- Be professional in what I do
- Be happy regardless of circumstance
- Be nice to others without expecting reciprocity

Oh, and look good. All the time. More on that later.