不管外在環境如何
不管他人說些甚麼
我仍然是我 － 睡好多好多，笑好大好大
世界再醜再惡
我依舊溫柔地，善良地
坐在那裡，用微笑靜候你的擁抱
Monday, November 1, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
如果墓碑會說話
重陽節的那天，跟爸媽及親戚到公公婆婆的墳前掃墓。
一如以往，在山上等了好一會兒才齊人。然後大家一邊佈置著各種祭品，一邊有的沒的在閒話家常。我沒有太多話（反正大家都只會追問我何時結婚），只是默默地站在一旁，摺著紙錢，聆聽大家的對話。
有那麼一剎那，我忽然感觸起來。
公公在我出生後沒多久便過世了，因此幾乎自我有記憶以來，每逢清明、重陽，都要掃墓。小時候覺得摺元寶是很有趣的事。那時，親戚間的話題，是我們讀書的成績如何，學琴進度怎樣，考了幾級試，等等。
後來，婆婆和公公團聚了。話題，變成升中學後怎樣怎樣，會考怎樣怎樣。
再後來，掃完公公婆婆的墓後，我們還多了一站，是大姨和大姨丈的墓。
而現在，爸媽和親戚的對話，大多圍繞著大家每況愈下的健康狀況。癌症，保健，身體檢查，是出現得最多的字眼。
是啊，轉眼間，數十年過去了（我都三十歲啦）。那時還是壯年的爸爸媽媽，今天已進入老年。墓碑上公公婆婆的微笑依舊，我們的肉體卻日漸老去、衰敗。已逝者得以不朽，活在世上的，卻阻不了春去秋來，停不了時鐘每分每刻的跳動。
我雙目漸漸濕潤，卻忽爾聽得媽媽跟舅父提起三個寶貝孫兒們，一剎間她的臉上彷彿若有光。也許就是這樣吧？我想。上一代老了，便由下一代來傳承他們的薪火。生有時，死也有時；生命的來去，歲月的流逝，自有它的軌跡。
一如以往，在山上等了好一會兒才齊人。然後大家一邊佈置著各種祭品，一邊有的沒的在閒話家常。我沒有太多話（反正大家都只會追問我何時結婚），只是默默地站在一旁，摺著紙錢，聆聽大家的對話。
有那麼一剎那，我忽然感觸起來。
公公在我出生後沒多久便過世了，因此幾乎自我有記憶以來，每逢清明、重陽，都要掃墓。小時候覺得摺元寶是很有趣的事。那時，親戚間的話題，是我們讀書的成績如何，學琴進度怎樣，考了幾級試，等等。
後來，婆婆和公公團聚了。話題，變成升中學後怎樣怎樣，會考怎樣怎樣。
再後來，掃完公公婆婆的墓後，我們還多了一站，是大姨和大姨丈的墓。
而現在，爸媽和親戚的對話，大多圍繞著大家每況愈下的健康狀況。癌症，保健，身體檢查，是出現得最多的字眼。
是啊，轉眼間，數十年過去了（我都三十歲啦）。那時還是壯年的爸爸媽媽，今天已進入老年。墓碑上公公婆婆的微笑依舊，我們的肉體卻日漸老去、衰敗。已逝者得以不朽，活在世上的，卻阻不了春去秋來，停不了時鐘每分每刻的跳動。
我雙目漸漸濕潤，卻忽爾聽得媽媽跟舅父提起三個寶貝孫兒們，一剎間她的臉上彷彿若有光。也許就是這樣吧？我想。上一代老了，便由下一代來傳承他們的薪火。生有時，死也有時；生命的來去，歲月的流逝，自有它的軌跡。
Friday, October 8, 2010
What a month
It has been a month of whirlwind traveling - the past four weeks have found me in Hong Kong, Beijing, Singapore, and Tokyo. When I was not commuting to and from airports, I have been busy celebrating my birthday, showing visitors around, attending weddings, going to yoga classes, spending quality time with family and the boyfriend, and exploring different cities.
Oh, and trying to get my act together at work.
Work has been a topic I try to avoid thinking about lately. Two months in my new role and I still haven't gotten a hang of it. Which is a little unnerving, to put it mildly. In fact I think I might even be having some kind of confidence crisis, only that I have been too distracted by all the traveling and other plans to even feel or think about it. But now that we're almost one-third into October, and that my travel schedule has quieted down considerably, I guess it's about time for me to focus on work again, and to regain the balance that I've lost since a few months ago.
But before that, let me share some highlights from the past four weeks:
Beijing
This was my 5th visit to Beijing. The first time I set foot in Beijing was 1997, when I was on some offical school tour to celebrate the first National Day of the "motherland" after the handover of HK. And the last time I was there was two years ago, when I was lucky enough to have a few tickets to the Olympics Games. While Beijing is way too vast for me to claim to know after just a few trips, it's definitely not a new city to me, which is why I don't have the urge to go to any of the touristic places anymore. So, my trip this time was filled with chilling, strolling, eating ducks, catching up with old friend, and meeting new friends. Oh, and I even made it to a Vogue fashion event one night (which was in fact disappointingly lame, but still worth a mention just for the word "Vogue").
Birthday
It's my 3-0 birthday!!!! For a while I had been debating whether I should just spend the day quietly or go all the way and have a big party. I ended up doing something in the middle, and it was a lovely, lovely birthday. The special day started with a morning yoga session with Master Kapil (to celebrate a new me who is totally zen, ha-ha), followed by yummy dim sum with family. SB flew over from Singapore to spend the day with me! We spent the afternoon with my family and the little ones, before we had to get ready for dinner (I took some nice shots of SB playing aeroplanes with Austin, btw). Dinner was at Cafe Gray, inside the posh Upper House in Admiralty. My friends Lindsey and Marc were visiting from Seoul that weekend, so they joined SB and I for dinner. Cafe Gray has a spectacular view, and even though the food didn't quite meet our expectations (and the price tags), it was the company that I enjoyed the most.
The night was topped up by drinks at the Pawn with my friends. To be honest, before that night, I was really worried that no one would show up - after all, I've been away from HK for so long and knowing that I'm not very good at staying in touch, I was afraid that no one would care about my birthday. Plus, I know that most of my friends, who're now married and all settled, do not really go out that often anymore. In fact, I had discussed with SB so many times about the possibility of no one coming, and we even had some contingency plan ready (which may or may not involve ordering a bottle of Dom Perignon :p). So I was really, really glad that night when I saw the familiar faces of many of my old friends - it meant a lot that they were there, the group of people that I grew up with, the friends who know me through all these years and speak my language and have seen me in big big glasses and mushroom hairstyle. It really meant a lot to me.
The night didn't end with me being "hammered" (I got so drunk on my 28th birthday that apparently the only thing I could say then was 'I'm so hammered'), but it ended with me feeling loved. I was so lucky to be surrounded by people who loved and cared about me, on the day I turned 30. Like I said, it's a lovely, lovely day.
Tokyo
I was a bit reluctant to take a week off when I was still relatively new in my role, but this was a special trip that I just had to make. My very good friend Josephine is getting married! What's more, she and her fiance Martin are having their destination wedding at Karuizawa, a place that brings back lots of fond memories of Josephine and me. Josephine is my Japan travel buddy - we've made so many fun trips together, with uncountable crazy adventures (e.g. getting a ride from a strange Japanese man in the middle of the night at a deserted train station, anyone?). I'm so happy that she and Martin are finally getting married, and that they have chosen such a beautiful place to do it!
SB and I were very excited about going to Tokyo together - we've been talking about it since the early days when we were dating, and he knows how much I love shopping in Japan. Although there is nothing like traveling in Japan with Josephine, SB and I still had a great trip. I have toned down the shopping by quite a bit - not just because SB was there (oops), but also because of the stronger than ever Japanese yen. So instead of hitting the shops, we just strolled around different parts of the city, and I had the pleasure to get out of the usual places and explore new parts of the town. We even had some really novel experience, like trying chicken sashimi (which is very courageous of us, but that thing is surprisingly tasty)!
After spending 3 days in Tokyo, we went to Karuizawa for the wedding. Karuizawa is serene and beautiful, especially during this time of the year, when the leaves just start turning yellow and red. A perfect place to say 'I do'! The night before the wedding, Josephine and I went to the hotspring together, just like old times. Before this trip, we have been to Karuizawa together twice - the first time when I was having real turmoils both in the work and relationship departments, and the second time before I was about to embark on my MBA journey in France. We've seen each other in all the ups and downs in the past eight years, and now, we're back in Karuizawa together for the third time, for her special day. As I saw her walk down the aisle in the gorgeous gown, I couldn't help but wonder: will we ever travel together again, just the two of us? You know, a 100% girl's trip, shopping 'til we drop, enjoying each other's naked company in hotsprings, heading for crazy adventures at peach farms and train stations and shady hotels... just like old times.
I hope we will.
And until that happens, I'll savor those great stories that we have had together, like I'm doing now.
Oh, and trying to get my act together at work.
Work has been a topic I try to avoid thinking about lately. Two months in my new role and I still haven't gotten a hang of it. Which is a little unnerving, to put it mildly. In fact I think I might even be having some kind of confidence crisis, only that I have been too distracted by all the traveling and other plans to even feel or think about it. But now that we're almost one-third into October, and that my travel schedule has quieted down considerably, I guess it's about time for me to focus on work again, and to regain the balance that I've lost since a few months ago.
But before that, let me share some highlights from the past four weeks:
Beijing
This was my 5th visit to Beijing. The first time I set foot in Beijing was 1997, when I was on some offical school tour to celebrate the first National Day of the "motherland" after the handover of HK. And the last time I was there was two years ago, when I was lucky enough to have a few tickets to the Olympics Games. While Beijing is way too vast for me to claim to know after just a few trips, it's definitely not a new city to me, which is why I don't have the urge to go to any of the touristic places anymore. So, my trip this time was filled with chilling, strolling, eating ducks, catching up with old friend, and meeting new friends. Oh, and I even made it to a Vogue fashion event one night (which was in fact disappointingly lame, but still worth a mention just for the word "Vogue").
Birthday
It's my 3-0 birthday!!!! For a while I had been debating whether I should just spend the day quietly or go all the way and have a big party. I ended up doing something in the middle, and it was a lovely, lovely birthday. The special day started with a morning yoga session with Master Kapil (to celebrate a new me who is totally zen, ha-ha), followed by yummy dim sum with family. SB flew over from Singapore to spend the day with me! We spent the afternoon with my family and the little ones, before we had to get ready for dinner (I took some nice shots of SB playing aeroplanes with Austin, btw). Dinner was at Cafe Gray, inside the posh Upper House in Admiralty. My friends Lindsey and Marc were visiting from Seoul that weekend, so they joined SB and I for dinner. Cafe Gray has a spectacular view, and even though the food didn't quite meet our expectations (and the price tags), it was the company that I enjoyed the most.
The night was topped up by drinks at the Pawn with my friends. To be honest, before that night, I was really worried that no one would show up - after all, I've been away from HK for so long and knowing that I'm not very good at staying in touch, I was afraid that no one would care about my birthday. Plus, I know that most of my friends, who're now married and all settled, do not really go out that often anymore. In fact, I had discussed with SB so many times about the possibility of no one coming, and we even had some contingency plan ready (which may or may not involve ordering a bottle of Dom Perignon :p). So I was really, really glad that night when I saw the familiar faces of many of my old friends - it meant a lot that they were there, the group of people that I grew up with, the friends who know me through all these years and speak my language and have seen me in big big glasses and mushroom hairstyle. It really meant a lot to me.
The night didn't end with me being "hammered" (I got so drunk on my 28th birthday that apparently the only thing I could say then was 'I'm so hammered'), but it ended with me feeling loved. I was so lucky to be surrounded by people who loved and cared about me, on the day I turned 30. Like I said, it's a lovely, lovely day.
Tokyo
I was a bit reluctant to take a week off when I was still relatively new in my role, but this was a special trip that I just had to make. My very good friend Josephine is getting married! What's more, she and her fiance Martin are having their destination wedding at Karuizawa, a place that brings back lots of fond memories of Josephine and me. Josephine is my Japan travel buddy - we've made so many fun trips together, with uncountable crazy adventures (e.g. getting a ride from a strange Japanese man in the middle of the night at a deserted train station, anyone?). I'm so happy that she and Martin are finally getting married, and that they have chosen such a beautiful place to do it!
SB and I were very excited about going to Tokyo together - we've been talking about it since the early days when we were dating, and he knows how much I love shopping in Japan. Although there is nothing like traveling in Japan with Josephine, SB and I still had a great trip. I have toned down the shopping by quite a bit - not just because SB was there (oops), but also because of the stronger than ever Japanese yen. So instead of hitting the shops, we just strolled around different parts of the city, and I had the pleasure to get out of the usual places and explore new parts of the town. We even had some really novel experience, like trying chicken sashimi (which is very courageous of us, but that thing is surprisingly tasty)!
After spending 3 days in Tokyo, we went to Karuizawa for the wedding. Karuizawa is serene and beautiful, especially during this time of the year, when the leaves just start turning yellow and red. A perfect place to say 'I do'! The night before the wedding, Josephine and I went to the hotspring together, just like old times. Before this trip, we have been to Karuizawa together twice - the first time when I was having real turmoils both in the work and relationship departments, and the second time before I was about to embark on my MBA journey in France. We've seen each other in all the ups and downs in the past eight years, and now, we're back in Karuizawa together for the third time, for her special day. As I saw her walk down the aisle in the gorgeous gown, I couldn't help but wonder: will we ever travel together again, just the two of us? You know, a 100% girl's trip, shopping 'til we drop, enjoying each other's naked company in hotsprings, heading for crazy adventures at peach farms and train stations and shady hotels... just like old times.
I hope we will.
And until that happens, I'll savor those great stories that we have had together, like I'm doing now.
Friday, September 17, 2010
With a thankful heart
這個video在facebook廣泛流傳，相信很多人都看過了。大家都對乖巧可愛的雪兒讚不絕口，但我卻更敬佩莫爸爸。雪兒知足、樂天的態度，肯定是受到爸爸潛移默化的影響。如果不是家裡有一個充滿愛的環境，一個小朋友怎麼會這麼快樂？儘管物質生活貧乏，心靈卻是富足的。
做人甚麼最重要？莫爸爸提醒我們，家庭最重要。
過去三十年來，我得到最多的，是家人給我的源源不絕的愛。
而這個生日，最令我開心的，是我所愛的人全都在身邊。
懷著感恩的心情，迎接明天的到來。
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
我以後再也不隨便買衫
我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不隨便買衫我以後再也不...
從星加坡運回來的東西終於送到了，看見一屋子的衫呀裙呀褸呀鞋呀，我決定以後再也不隨便買衫！
從星加坡運回來的東西終於送到了，看見一屋子的衫呀裙呀褸呀鞋呀，我決定以後再也不隨便買衫！
Sunday, September 5, 2010
手
去修甲的時候，美甲師姐姐問我，你每次都塗這種淡淡的粉紅色，不覺得悶嗎？
我說，不會啊（其實我很怕畫了各種顏色和花樣的指甲）。我想要的，正是這種乾淨、秀氣的感覺，使我的手即使是在鍵盤上打字的時候，也顯得特別專業，特別漂亮，讓我自我感覺良好。
女人有時真係好鬼無聊。
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
September 1
So here I am, 9am in the office, blogging discreetly from my workstation. No, don't tell my boss, or HR, please.
I got up at 6 this morning, and went to a private yoga class at 7. "You are so delicate, Natalie," Kapil, my yoga instructor, said, "we really need to work hard to get your muscles stronger." After a short pause, he added, "but the good thing is that I can tell you're very motivated."
Yes, I AM motivated. And I feel good. On my way to class this morning, I saw scenes that I hadn't seen for a while: students in uniform waiting for school buses, seniors practicing Taichi in the park... The air was fresh, and there was no noise of traffic on the streets. It's gonna be a great start of a day, I told myself. And it was. At 7am I was already doing stretches and bends. I could feel my muscle working, my breath deepening, my energy flowing. I looked into the mirror, and saw a petite lady, working out, sweating - with a little blush on her cheeks, looking healthy and looking great (especially in my new lulu tank and pants, may I add). Yes, I am motivated, and I feel good.
It's September 1. As the calendar turns a new page, and school year starts again, I also feel like something is changing and growing inside me (I know, the yogi master in me is just dying to get out). I know September is going to be a special month - it is, after all, where it all began 30 years ago. And I really am going to make an effort to become a better me, starting today.
I got up at 6 this morning, and went to a private yoga class at 7. "You are so delicate, Natalie," Kapil, my yoga instructor, said, "we really need to work hard to get your muscles stronger." After a short pause, he added, "but the good thing is that I can tell you're very motivated."
Yes, I AM motivated. And I feel good. On my way to class this morning, I saw scenes that I hadn't seen for a while: students in uniform waiting for school buses, seniors practicing Taichi in the park... The air was fresh, and there was no noise of traffic on the streets. It's gonna be a great start of a day, I told myself. And it was. At 7am I was already doing stretches and bends. I could feel my muscle working, my breath deepening, my energy flowing. I looked into the mirror, and saw a petite lady, working out, sweating - with a little blush on her cheeks, looking healthy and looking great (especially in my new lulu tank and pants, may I add). Yes, I am motivated, and I feel good.
It's September 1. As the calendar turns a new page, and school year starts again, I also feel like something is changing and growing inside me (I know, the yogi master in me is just dying to get out). I know September is going to be a special month - it is, after all, where it all began 30 years ago. And I really am going to make an effort to become a better me, starting today.
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