不再核心的核心價值

香港的核心價值是什麼？以我作為香港人的認知，認為是：廉潔，自由，效率。香港這麼多年的繁榮發展，靠的不就是這三個因素嗎？

我自小在香港長大，一直為這片土地驕傲。唸MBA的時候，別人問我從那兒來，我總是回答，我是香港來的。對方總會「哦」一聲，然後跟我說香港的繁華香港的活力，有多impressive。

只是，這些年來，想到香港，想到香港的種種改變，心裡不是沒有保留的。直到我來到上海工作，我才明白，問題出在那裡。

香港的核心價值，和阿爺所期望所欣賞的價值，根本不是同一件事。廉潔，自由，效率？在這裡都不值一哂。來到內地工作後，我發現，用我既往一貫的方法工作，會被認為是蠢，是不識時務。在這裡，生存，發達，都有自己的一套方式。老闆，或稱領導，在這裡，代表了至高無上的權力：一切東西的執行，就是要靠一層一層的領導，以自己身為老闆的權力，傳達執行下去。這裡不講究創新不講究主動（主動討好老闆除外），不提倡個人主義也不鼓勵個人色彩，甚至不在乎做的是不是正確的事。最重要的，是領導的話，領導的意向，領導的評價。誰管你什麼廉潔，自由，效率。

這就是為什麼香港變了。阿爺當前利益當前生存當前，你變，還是不變？香港人自以為的核心價值，已經再沒有人擁抱。像是小公司被大財團收購，小公司的文化，慢慢會被大財團所蠶食所同化。你眷戀小公司以往的開明自由，卻也要明白，大環境就是變了。往日的老闆想要的，和今日的老闆想要的，已是截然不同的東西和價值。硬想又要在老闆面前做得好又要忠於自己的核心價值，只會落得精神分裂。在這裡，你要麼conform，要麼jump ship。

打工可以跳槽，但香港是咱們家，我們要跳到那裡去？難道真的要移民瓦努阿圖？

Holding on

I was taking a walk in the park downstairs just now, listening to my new iPod (which Apple generously gave to me for free to replace my first generation one which apparently had battery overheating problems... btw, does anybody still use iPod nowadays?) Now, this is rather embarrassing to admit, but I hardly have any new music. My newest song on iTunes is probably Love the Way You Lie. I'm not sure. Anyway, my playlist is shamefully old.

So I was walking in the park, watching people jog and walk their dogs and push around baby strollers, my iPod on shuffle mode. And then all of a sudden, this song came to my ears.

Waking up I see that everything is okay
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

-- Innocence (by Avril Lavigne)

Sometimes I forget how loved and blessed I am, and fall into the trap of self-pity with obsessive, negative self talk - let's just say it's a not so pretty version of me. But at times like this, something so stripped down is all I need - someone to yell at me, to remind me how blessed I am, to tell me to shut up and just be thankful and hold on to it.

And this song did just that.

Now it's about time to make some dinner. After dinner I may go download some new music, or I may do some work, or I may just read some magazines while bundled up nicely in the bed.

Life is still good. Don't you let it pass you by.

關於婚禮

關於婚禮，我一直有幾個微小願望：

- 在草地上舉行
- 有大提琴伴奏
- 唸自己寫的誓詞
- 儀式裡有一小段reading

婚禮會在多倫多音樂花園舉行。這個花園是馬友友與建築師合作設計的，共分六個部份，靈感分別來自巴哈的Cello Solo Suites No.1的六個樂章，整個花園猶如一首歌。能夠在這花園裡行禮，襯上大提琴的吟哦，在一片綠意盎然中接受至親好友的祝福，這是我能想像到最完美脫俗的畫面了。

至於自己寫vows，是因為想說和想聽彼此內心的說話，也是考慮到語言問題，可能會英語及廣東話雙語進行（因為我希望我的父母也能聽懂我們的誓詞）。其實還未正式和SB商量，但估計問題不大，除了中文的部分，他極可能只會說一句Wo Ai Ni?!

而關於最後一點，Reading這個重任，將會落在六歲的姪兒Justin身上。選了以下Winnie the Pooh的小詩節錄，既符合小朋友的天真，亦能帶出兩個人一起的意義，我很喜歡。

Us Two　(Excerpt)
by A. A. Milne

Wherever I am, there's always Pooh,
There's always Pooh and Me.
Whatever I do, he wants to do,
"Where are you going today?" says Pooh:
"Well, that's very odd 'cos I was too.
Let's go together," says Pooh, says he.
"Let's go together," says Pooh.

"Let's look for dragons," I said to Pooh.
"Yes, let's," said Pooh to Me.
We crossed the river and found a few -

"Let's frighten the dragons," I said to Pooh.
"That's right," said Pooh to Me.
"I'm not afraid," I said to Pooh,
And I held his paw and I shouted "Shoo!
Silly old dragons!" - and off they flew.
"I wasn't afraid," said Pooh, said he,
"I'm never afraid with you."

So wherever I am, there's always Pooh,
There's always Pooh and Me.
"What would I do?" I said to Pooh,
"If it wasn't for you," and Pooh said:
"True, It isn't much fun for One, but Two,
Can stick together, says Pooh, says he.
"That's how it is," says Pooh.


期待那一天，披上白紗，戴上指環，跟你說I do。