我不是好人

我被調派到上海的消息正式在辦公室裡公佈了，有點可悲的是，不是味兒的人多，衷心祝賀的人少。

大家的第一個反應都是，嘩個銜頭好勁姐，坐白金直昇機乎？我來香港不過一年，居然這樣就踏個跳板離去了。當然，他們不知道我自進入這間公司以來，所克服過的困難和挑戰。兩年半以來我轉了3個locations換過4個老闆，完成了好些一開始大家都搖搖說「很困難」的項目，工作範圍涉獵sales, marketing, finance, logistics, regulatory。在亞太區的管理層，幾乎人人也知道我的名字。今次的升遷，我真的覺得自己受之無愧（雖然其實也有點意外）。

可惜，如此衝鋒陷陣也未能換來金剛不壞之身。眼看某些同事的反應，我還是受傷了。自問在工作上一直只是努力把事情做好，希望達到（或超越）老細要求，從未立心加害任何一位同事。只是，某同事掌舵項目不力，導致我下屬嚴重overload，同樣的事情要重覆做兩次，我焉能不出聲？但當然，聲一出，我便officially become the bad guy。

我已不再奢望自己與同事能成為好朋友，對於一星期裡大部份日子都要獨自解決午餐的事實也都習以為常了，只是，想到「有人不喜歡我」這一點，我還是感到或多或少的委屈和失望。SB說，你不要理會他們啦，你只是做對的事（do the right thing）而已。而且真正和你一起工作過的人，是會知道你的工作能力的，他們不是都喜歡和你合作嗎？

曾聽過一位管理階層說過，與其成為一個令人喜歡（well-liked）的領袖，他寧可做一個令人信服（well-respected）的領袖。我也希望是這樣，雖然，在這一個課題上，我顯然還是太稚嫩了。

What the American diet does to you

去了美國兩個星期，日夜到diner呀shake shack呀cheese cake factory呀暴飲暴食的結果，是身體多了接近1.3kg的脂肪。雖然體重沒有增加，但body fat percentage卻由僅僅低於20%，驟升至23%。

好唔開心，又要重新努力操過了。

Balancing Act

如果婚禮的一切都照我的意願舉行的話，整筆開支應該會是天文數字吧。

（SB很久以前就說過，I have expensive taste。）（留意他沒有說good taste，只是說expensive。:p）

其實我不過是單純地，想所有的東西都是最好的。這也許是我做人最大的毛病，也是我那該死的完美主義的極致: 要麼不做，要麼就要最好。真的，我可以不要婚宴不要儀式，但既然決定了要做，我便希望所有細節都盡善盡美。從婚紗到花球，從場地到攝影，以至請帖和佈置，通通由最貴最好的看起，問你死未。

但我又不是Kate Middleton，何來那樣的人力財力，去支持我心目中的完美婚禮？而且我也不想自己變身成為bridezilla，讓婚禮變得比結婚還重要。

這讓我想起管理學的重要一課: the balancing act。要在無止境的wish list和泛濫的意見和要求中，學會取捨，妥協，以及分輕重。

這，一點也不容易。

我要結婚了

訂婚其實已超過一個月，但有時候望著戒指還是會有不能置信的感覺：真的嗎？就這樣了嗎？

心裡當然是甜絲絲的，也憧憬著婚後一起生活有著另一個身份的日子。只是還是有點未能接受，我就要進入人生的另一個階段，擁有自己的家庭了。

你用無限濃情蜜意　來造迷人玩意　環在沒名份手指
感覺多麼似　加冕光圈變天使

我看著那一閃一閃的戒指，彷彿看到了自己的幸福和運氣。謝謝你，和家人，和上天一路的眷顧。

很感恩。

Printemps

Hi everyone! It's been a while, I know. There are various excuses for my lack of blogging activity, namely, my incapability to type Chinese on my new computer, some hard-to-explain confusion over my online identity and the purpose of blogging, and the (sad) fact that my life hasn't been too exciting these days...

Although to a very large extent, I think I have nothing but my own laziness to blame on.

But, hey, here I am! There is something that made me happy today: Spring is finally here! Bring on the floral dresses, pretty sandals, and sexy bikinis! I've been trying very, very hard these days to get back in shape and be ready for tank tops and short shorts. I can't wait to feel the kisses of the sun!

The arrival of spring, however, also reminds me of something that's simultaneously sad and exciting: my time in Hong Kong is almost up. I'm due to leave some time around June / July. Where will the destination be? I'm hoping to find out the answer as soon as I can, but until then, your guess is as good as mine...

Not a superwoman after all

Bloggers and media worldwide have written extensively on (and similarly made fun of) how annoying and pretentious Gwyneth Paltrow's lifestyle website GOOP is. To be honest, while I also find the newsletters unbearably self indulgent (she is Gwyneth Paltrow after all), there are also times when I do learn a few things from her tips.

I am not, however, quite sure how I feel about this one.

Just read the excerpt below, about how Juliet de Baubigny, a venture capitalist in San Francisco and a mother of two, spends her regular day:

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I'm an early bird—so I try to seize "Juliet time" first thing in the morning. I get up between 5:30am - 6am and quickly scan my email. Then my priority is exercise. If I can work out each day, I'm a really happy person. And let's face it, if you are getting up on a cold morning in the dark it had better be fun. I've found that having a trainer come to my house on a Monday really motivates me—she's knocking at the front door so going back to sleep is NOT an option. This way, my body clock adjusts after the weekend and I'm more inclined to commit to workouts each day during the week. I'm currently obsessed with the Tracy Anderson Method and do the Perfect Design DVD three times a week. I even take the DVD traveling! On cardio days, I use the elliptical or spin bike for 30 minutes (including lots of sprints). I bring my iPad and use the Flipboard app to curate my social media (Facebook, Twitter and categories that are important to me: business, technology, style, design, fashion). The iPad is a lifesaver for me: in 30 minutes, I have read everything that I need to start my day!

Breakfast: super important and always super-rushed with the pressure of everyone being out of the door at 7:45am. I really make a point of sitting down with my children—even if it's for 15 minutes. A great time saver is to make steel cut oatmeal, put it in a ceramic bread loaf pan and slice it each morning, add a drizzle of maple syrup, milk and 45 seconds in the microwave—healthy breakfast in seconds and I can make it last over 3 - 4 days! In the summer, I start the day with a protein smoothie, which can be made in minutes (a handful of organic berries, a large scoop of Greek yogurt, a squirt of flaxseed oil, 2 scoops of protein powder, organic pomegranate or cranberry juice and blend). If I'm really in a rush I have a Shaklee vanilla shake. I always try to take the Shaklee multivitamin strip + iron, which comes pre-packaged, to save time. This way breakfast takes a few minutes to make and I have the time to talk to my children about their day.

Hair: A great time saver is to have a weekly blow out. This means that you don't need to wash your hair each day—the time that you save with a blow out can save you minutes in the morning.

Makeup: I was given an amazing present of a makeup lesson with Wallet Lubrich. She taught me how to do my daily makeup in 5 minutes. No joke, I can dress, do my make up and be out the door in 15 minutes.
I always make a point of doing the school run in the morning. It's a really important moment in my day. This fall, my children started at the same school, which is such a time saver for me. Our 15 minute drive together is treasured time and I really feel that we all start our day on the right foot.

My Day: Is a blur from the minute that I arrive in the office but that's how I like it. I have the benefit of an amazing assistant, without whom I could not make it happen (Thank you, thank you, Diane). My day is packed back-to-back from the moment that I arrive until the moment that I leave. When I'm driving to a meeting, I bring a call list with me so that I can quickly return calls. On a Friday afternoon, I'm given the list of outstanding calls/topics/decisions that I need to make over the weekend. I carve out key moments during the weekend to do emails and return calls. During other windows, I turn my Blackberry off so that I can focus 100% on my children and my husband.

6pm - 7:30pm is family time, as many nights of the week as I can make it. Conference calls happen before or after that window, same for email. Giving 100% attention and quality time to my children is key, particularly when I've been out at work all day.

Bed: By 10:30—if I can!

Sunday nights: Always, always family dinner. It's super fun now that the children are older. We do everything together—we plan the menu, often going to the farmer's market the day before, prepare the food, set the table, cook together and clean up. It's our ritual. After the children are in bed, I print out the family calendar for the week. It has all the activities and schedule, and I put it in on the board in the kitchen so that everyone knows who is where and where they are supposed to be!

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Geez, I know self discipline is a virtue, and I do dream that I can be successful like her one day, making big bucks while having a perfectly balanced family life. But to get up at 5:30 every morning and be in bed by 10:30? Every day? Do I have to be a robot or what? What's more, this life just doesn't seem FUN to live at all. (Sorry Mrs. de Baubigny, I know you had tried really hard to make it sound otherwise...)

Don't get me wrong. I admire Juliet de Baubigny for being such a super woman and I have mad respect for the energy and self discipline that she possesses and displays. (Google her up and you'll see that she has an amazing sense of style too!) Seriously, in an ideal world, I wish I could be like her. (BTW, have you noticed that most successful executives do seem to have the habit of getting up really early in the morning and going for either a run or a workout before coming in the office?) But then, if this is what it takes to have both a successful career and a loving family, I guess I'm just not cut out for it. I love being able to hit the snooze button a few times before struggling to get up. I love staying up late to cuddle with my honey on the couch and watch The Big Bang Theory together. And when I have kids, I would love to spend as much time with them as possible, and be spontaneous and fun, rather than planning my time with them like a clockwork.

There's nothing I would trade for the little pleasures in my life.

So, when are you gonna get married?

When you're single, people ask why you're not dating.
When you're dating, people ask when you're going to get married.
When you're married, people ask when you're going to have kids.

Dude, why do people ask these questions? WHY? I mean, if you haven't already known the answer, it probably means that there's nothing you need to know. And it's not like your asking the question is going to change anything.

Not surprisingly, when you're 30 and in a relationship, the question "so, when are you gonna get married?" comes up in just about every social gathering you attend. And if you say "I don't know", or "no plan yet", they (after some awkward pause) always give you this sympathetic look, like something must be wrong and they're sorry for you. Gosh, how I hate that.

Why is it a bad thing, that I'm not married yet? Whether I'm single, in a relationship, or married without kids, I can be perfectly happy with my current stage of life - why are people so obsessed with when I'm going to move on to the next? Can't I just stay here and be happy? And can't they just accept the fact that I AM happy and be happy about it too?

When there's news to share, I will tell. For now, I don't know. There's no plan yet.

Fank Q for (not) asking.

Effortless chic

I absolutely adore J.Crew's style.

P.S. I love, love, love their bridal collection. And I dream to walk down the aisle one day in a gown like this.

Photo: from J.Crew website, obviously

On Procrastination

I am such an unbelievable procrastinator. In the sense that I'm very good at it. I have these small bursts of productivity, during which I would produce really good quality of work within a short period of time, and then I spend the rest of the day doing nothing. Like, literally, NOTHING. Luckily, the quality of my work is usually good enough to make up for the slack time and the un-productivity thereof, which is the only reason why I'm not fired yet.

But it doesn't mean I like being a procrastinator.

Procrastination is depressing. The procrastination that I'm talking about here isn't putting off something in order to do something more enjoyable or fulfilling. Leaving your work for later while going out for afternoon tea with your co-workers doesn't count as procrastination. Neither is deciding to hit the gym tomorrow after finishing the buffet dinner tonight. Real procrastination - trust me, I'm the expert here - involves doing absolutely nothing and feeling horrible about it. Anything you do you do with a blank mind and with the sole purpose of waiting for time to pass. There's no enjoyment, or relief, but only guilt and agony.

So why do people (read: I) still procrastinate? It could be that the work that we're trying to avoid is so dreadful that even guilt and agony feels better than that thing itself. Or - this is for all those helpless perfectionist out there - the reason could be that we want to wait for the perfect moment to start working on it. Think about it: if we don't start, then there's no chance for it to even become imperfect! So we plan, and wait, and plan, and wait, we promise ourselves we'll start once the right moment has arrived, only to realise that the right moment is always tomorrow.

Tomorrow we'll rock the world. For now, let me just go back to Facebook and do some more procrastinating.

Bye.

我很好，只是...

遠距離戀愛裡最難熬的，不是不能見面的無奈，也不是如隔三秋的想念，而是難得相聚後、再分離的空虛。

SB來了香港差不多兩星期，我們天天見面，到處走走吃吃，說說笑笑，日子過得多麼溫柔、快活。然後他今天回去了。然後我忽然不懂得怎樣回到日常生活。然後我心裡彷彿被掏去了一角，晚餐再豐盛，行程再緊湊，也總覺得少了點甚麼。

一個人的起居飲食，頓然變得索然無味。